Looking up

The eve of Mother's day, I posted my laundry list of woes (click here if you missed it).  I had just had such a rough week last week, I was trying with all my might for things to look up. I wrote about how I was going to look for and find the joy on Mother's Day.

Well, I tried.  It started off great with my first time sleeping in in 10 years, reading books with Anna-Kate in bed whiles the bigs and their dad made me breakfast in bed (which I haven't had since slumber parties at my grams when I was a kid!).  The kids made lovely cards and homemade posters were plastered all over the kitchen. Plus I have up the special Mother's Day cards from my aunt up (thank you!). It started out so good. I even got a long dreamed about Mother's Day gift for a steal from facebook marketplace. To me, from me, vintage old high back kitchen sink love.  It's going to clean up nicely. Hope to get it installed this decade.


Then it went downhill fast. Looking back, I cannot even think of the how or whys, but it was rough. I think it was probably my hardest day of motherhood ever. I somehow stayed remarkably patient, am thankful for my husband's help, but ended up with a pounding headache.  And a sleep number bed with a broken pump.  Felt like that last one was a 'hit her while she's down' moment. I cried that day. A lot.

I'm blown away from what happened next. Everything changed. In came the messages rolling in of support, of prayers and offers to help. My tears of thankfulness began flowing when were showered with delicious food and gifts (Thank you Karlene, best chicken pot pie EVER).

 The milkman gave us three extra quarts of milk and said that we made him smile (Thank you Jimmy!).

The day was really starting to turn around!  Only the bread I meant to have ready for Karlene and the milkman didn't rise enough, so it wasn't done in time.  I put some out front to sell it instead (for we both have been mostly without work). I had Emailed my regular buyers that fresh bread was out there.  A gust of wind came and blew all my hard work tumbling across the driveway.  Had to Email them back to say 'nevermind, bread has been blown away'. So disappointing, but I was determined to not it get me down.

Fast forward to today, I received a surprise gift from long time bread customers (who I have only met once!).  He said he made it from odds and ends so my bread no longer blows away. I cannot even tell you how special this is! (Thank you, neighbors!)

Know what Adrian said? He said "All the stuff that happened to us this week makes me feel so loved."  Those are the exact words that my heart is saying too.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your words of encouragement, prayers, offers of support. Somehow I went from the worst few days of parenthood ever to having some of the best days of parenthood ever.  I actually wrote my husband tonight that my heart feels filled, loved, thankful and happy.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart for loving us.

Mama Made: New Shorts x2

Took a one day break from making masks.  Made new shorts for each of the bigs. Not the fabrics that I would have picked, but they picked the fabric and I made them. They both are happy and wearing them, so I am calling that a win! 

Spring

In between the snowflakes and raindrops, there are some signs of spring.  Signs of hope.

 Plus smiles. He made his shirt above.  I made the skirt below.  Audra made the shirt below. I just love when they happen to be wearing handmades, unplanned.  May flip flops regularly be in our near future.

Twinsies

One of Audra's special little friends had a birthday. Both of these girls are dog lovers.  We have a lab.  Our friends have a goldendoodle.  So I made them poodle skirts, only no poodles involved. A lab on one and a goldendoodle on the other.  Can't wait for these girls to get together and twin!

Mother's Day 2020

Lately it seems what I'm doing most is spinning my wheels. I'm working through one pile while another is starting. I put away the last of the laundry and they are all stripping from mud play. "Wait, who took what from you?" I think I make enough food for two meals, but they eat it all and claim they are still hungry.  "You're bleeding, do we have any more bandaids?"  Or like the picture above, I assume the toys are put away and the kitchen is clean, but they were merely deposited in the fridge. "And what broke now?"  So far our washing machine, the coop door, porch door, cookie jar (ruining all the cookies in it) and vacuum cleaner during this 'stay at home' time.  "Why are you crying now?"  "Where is my coffee? Great. It's cold. Again." I feel like a hamster, spinning and spinning, with no way to get off.

People talk about spending this extra time at home doing home projects, trying new recipes, reading books for pleasure, learning a new hobby, sprawling out on the hammock, etc.  Truth be told, while all that seems glorious, I'm not able to do much of anything beyond my normal lately, and I'm barely keep up with the normal. These last few days I have found myself in tears all too often, feeling like that hamster who cannot get off the wheel. 

It's the life of many mothers to sacrifice everything to give the best childhood possible to their littles. It's so easy for me to get bombarded with the swarm of areas that are far from perfection, but I'm trying to reign in those non-helpful feelings and instead reflect on the gift of being able to be their mom. Although I don't feel like I'm enough lately, I am reminding myself that not only am I enough, I was chosen to be their mom.  I have what it takes. You do too.  You keep carrying on and I will too.  You keep looking for that joy and I will too (three joyful moments below). Happy Mother's Day. 

Thrifted

This is one last post, from February, back when I could still get into the thrift stores. I must admit, I miss the thrifting treasure hunts.  However, I am glad I am an avid thrifter because my kids have needed the next size up shoes, summer sandals and summer clothes.  It's all up in the attic, bought for mere pennies months/years ago.

 Columbia snowpants for next year. Two pairs of socks. Pottery pitcher bowl thing.  Terracotta pot.  $5.75

 Two summer shoes for Adrian. Books. Wool coat for Audra. Brand new curtain tie backs. $5.50. Here's her wool coat, which I think is lovely on her.  Can't wait to get back to treasure hunting!

Heroic efforts

Rescued from the cat.  Audra always wanted a tiny bird to call her own. While this little thing didn't make it through the night, the last few hours of its life, it was well loved.  Audra made it a respectful coffin and they had a little ceremony for it. I found Zippy locked in an animal cage in the barn. He was in 'jail'. By evening, he was forgiven.   All a day in the life.