I took some time for me. I started a once a week 4 week acrylic class. I got to go all by myself and just be present with other adults. No kids anywhere. It was really quite fun and relaxing. My only job was to create and organize color. The instructor said at the end that it's really great we all got together to paint because it's much better than being alone. I don't know whose voice it was, but I heard something that sounded like my voice and it came out of my mouth. I heard a tense, disgruntled tone a wee bit too loudly say: "I AM NEVER ALONE!". Everyone turned to look at me. Oops. I guess I just said that aloud. They all laughed. I did too. I'm pretty sure my cheeks turned red.
Alone, that's what I needed. After painting class, I was supposed to go grocery shopping, but I instead bought myself a treat and drove to the ocean. I just sat there in my car in silence, watching the waves and ate it slowly. Alone. No interruptions. No sharing. No arguing. Peace. I then spent entirely too much money on groceries but saved a bundle on some great scores at the thrift shop. It's all about balance, right? I then came home to children overjoyed to see me, as I was to see them. Then we had a marvelous afternoon. Well, with the exception of children biting each other before going up stairs for bed. Can't win them all, I suppose.
Truth of the matter, parenthood is hard. Really hard sometimes. These tiny humans come and it just so happens that every bit of mama's body, soul, mind and energy is given to them. And then what's left? Not much. I feel my best when I have made time to exercise, read and create in a day. How often does all that happen? Not enough. Definitely not enough. Goodness, not enough is not good enough! Just because it's hard doesn't mean I'm not going to stop trying. I need to take time to take better care of me. Because I'm worth it. And you are too. Let's keep on keeping on, together.