I'm up too late, cleaning a kitchen that is bound to be a disaster in no time tomorrow. The to do list to get ready for winter is longer than my brain can be at peace with. Given commitments and work schedules, it feels unlikely to be completed anytime soon. My kids' cooperation (or lack thereof) tells me they have been too scheduled as of late. I have so many sewing projects I really want to finish. Clutter is accumulating faster than I get at it. I had a really rough day with the menagerie of animals living on our farm.
These thoughts, they really pile up, don't they? I'm usually the eternal optimist, but sometimes it's unfortunate those gloomy thoughts sneak up and multiply.
And so, in my moments of weakness, I bought a frozen pizza. My mind was on rapid fire as I gave myself the guilt trip for such an unnecessary purchase. It's not healthy. We just had Halloween, we don't need more junk. I can make it for cheap and it would be healthy if I made it. We have so much homemade cheese that needs to be used up...
Yet I put that pizza into the cart.
Why do I put so much pressure on myself? Why do I allow that guilt to set in? A pizza is such a silly thing to feel guilt over. But no matter who you are, the feelings of negativity and guilt surface at times and are hard to squelch. They just creep up and linger.
Sometimes I forget my mind is stronger than all that negativity.
So tomorrow, I'm going to decide to change it up. I'm changing everything, starting with my thoughts. We're staying home. We're only doing the to do list if we feel like it. We're going to craft. We're going to eat frozen pizza, maybe even on paper plates (gasp). I'm staying out of the kitchen. We're going to use that extra hour to make us feel more grounded, a peace and content.