I'm up too late, cleaning a kitchen that is bound to be a disaster in no time tomorrow.  The to do list to get ready for winter is longer than my brain can be at peace with. Given commitments and work schedules, it feels unlikely to be completed anytime soon.  My kids' cooperation (or lack thereof) tells me they have been too scheduled as of late. I have so many sewing projects I really want to finish. Clutter is accumulating faster than I get at it. I had a really rough day with the menagerie of animals living on our farm.
These thoughts, they really pile up, don't they? I'm usually the eternal optimist, but sometimes it's unfortunate those gloomy thoughts sneak up and multiply.

And so, in my moments of weakness, I bought a frozen pizza.  My mind was on rapid fire as I gave myself the guilt trip for such an unnecessary purchase.   It's not healthy.  We just had Halloween, we don't need more junk. I can make it for cheap and it would be healthy if I made it. We have so much homemade cheese that needs to be used up...

Yet I put that pizza into the cart.

Why do I put so much pressure on myself? Why do I allow that guilt to set in?  A pizza is such a silly thing to feel guilt over. But no matter who you are, the feelings of negativity and guilt surface at times and are hard to squelch.  They just creep up and linger.
Sometimes I forget my mind is stronger than all that negativity.

So tomorrow, I'm going to decide to change it up. I'm changing everything, starting with my thoughts. We're staying home. We're only doing the to do list if we feel like it. We're going to craft. We're going to eat frozen pizza, maybe even on paper plates (gasp).  I'm staying out of the kitchen. We're going to use that extra hour to make us feel more grounded, a peace and content. 

Sometimes my bounty is 100% homemade/homegrown.  Sometimes it's not.  Sometimes the bittersweet from our woods and the other half gorgeous store bought daisies blend together perfectly. . Sometimes just going half the way is enough.  And sometimes just 'enough' is really okay.


  1. I know what you mean about the guilt. I'm vegan but my husband is not, I will not cook meat for him because it makes me sick to my stomach to smell it. Yet I feel guilty because it's something he wants, as his wife of 40+ years it's my 'job' to fix our meals.

  2. I do the same thing. So many things to do before winter, no enough time or mainly energy to get them all done. I got up this morning, drinking my morning coffee, looked at the garden! It needs cleaned out for the winter and part of my fence has fallen over. I sat down and drank my coffee! Lol, guess I'll be fixing a fence. Things happen, work piles up! Enjoy the moment! Have a great day!!! Enjoy the pizza!!!

  3. My Dearest Jackie, First of all, thank you for sharing your world with us. It's easy to share your life when everything is going well but not so easy when we struggle. Second let me say, that getting older is not a bad thing.....I have found that with it comes wisdom and with my wisdom, comes peace. Peace at knowing that there is no perfection in the natural and that "good enough" is "good enough" in the natural. You are unbelievably talented, smart and gifted in so many areas that at times, I have thought, "I should have been more like Jackie" BUT then my wisdom takes hold and says, "you did a good job" as a mom. I have a great life ~ a great husband and 4 great kids. Now that my children are older they are starting to share things with me that I had done/provided for in their life that meant so much to them, but I had no idea that I was making any lasting impression needless to say a lasting memory. Some of the things that have been shared with me since they are now older are now food for my soul and also confirmation that doing the best I could at that time, was indeed "good enough" for them as children.
    Keep on doing what you are doing dear sweet Jackie.....because it's "good enough" and remember that you are so very loved!

  4. Give yourself a break. You don't need to be perfect, just happy. Whatever it takes, girlfriend. ;0D



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