Maybe it's this pregnancy and the crazy hormones, but I have been counting my blessings a lot lately. It's awesome to be married to such a great man. We have had an awesome marriage, almost 6 years. Life before being parents was fabulous. We always have wanted to spend every second together, we were great communicators and hardly had any conflict. He was my knight and shining armor through the whole birth. I am confident I would not have had a drug free birth if he wasn't there. He was so supportive that I didn't need any drugs, his comforting words and touch were all I needed. What we both were not prepared for was the very first big challenge in our marriage after bringing a baby home.
Wow, it was hard at first and we didn't expect it in the least. I think the biggest part was me. I was beat up from delivery, had too much adrenaline to sleep for days, we had some medical issues with the baby (that seemed major at the time, but really were quite minor), I was dealing with nursing issues and taking care of the baby 24/7, not to mention crazy hormonal changes. I had many expectations that I was either not saying aloud or saying once frustrated. I think I was resentful because it seemed that his life went about as normal, whereas mine had changed completely. I felt like I was flying solo and he was just hanging around on vacation. Now, my husband is a caring, loving and helpful guy. It's not like he was being lazy. I think he didn't know where to help, wasn't sure how to help and didn't have the confidence to think he could do it. Now, prior to the baby, we would have just sat and discussed this, but for some reason, we just were having a hard time pulling together. I never had postpartum depression, I had postpartum frustration towards my husband. Poor guy.
Why am I writing about this? Because from articles in parenting magazines, personal accounts from friends and word of mouth stories, it's so common. I've read three articles in the last couple months about the strains a marriage faces after a new baby. It's real. Even for rock solid couples, like us. This time around, we're going to talk about expectations, roles and plans ahead of time. We're going to try our best to prepare and hopefully avoid a potential roller coaster.
But, you know what's awesome? After the hormones settled down, we're back to being us. Really, it is quite awesome that we've only had one challenge in almost 6 years of marriage. And the challenge wasn't a "let's divorce" type, it was more like "I'm not making dessert for you because I'm mad" type of situation (never has that happened before!). My husband is an awesome husband and dad. Awesome beyond words. We are united as parents. We think as a team, we back each other up and we're on the same page. We get along really well. We love being together and miss each other when we're gone. We laugh together. We pray together. We eat dessert together. We talk and talk and talk some more (wait, that's me who does the talking...). He's my one and only, my very best friend and my life long partner. I can't imagine my life without him. I cherish the times we spend together,especially family time with just us, such as long walks in the woods pictured below. I feel so blessed!