We a 4 month old and a 2 year old. I had just gone back to work a couple weeks prior from maternity leave and was dealing with all the crazy emotions that went along with that. And we had just closed on the house of our dreams. It was a "that house"/"this house" period in our life.
And everything was breaking and all that could go wrong, well, was. We were half living in one house and half living in the other house. My husband was working a lot of overtime, not by choice. No one was sleeping hardly at all. Our two year old was still adjusting to all the changes. I could barely pull together the typical meals I'd usually make and we resorted to much store bought, which the change in diet I don't think helped. All between all this, I was trying so hard to be the mama I wanted to be-there emotionally and physically, playing and teaching all the way.
Goodness, the mix of emotions at that point. Elated. Excited. Appreciative. Overwhelmed. Worried. Exhausted beyond belief. Feeling like everything in my life at that point I wasn't able to give 100%. Feeling scattered, disorganized, dare I say, a failure? It's true, I felt all those feelings.
I know if you were a reader back then that you probably didn't know the extent to which I was struggling, but I was. I cried a lot.
I didn't know if we would ever be fully moved.
Looking back, I should have insisted on time off from work to move. I was feeling so guilty from leaving my families for the full maternity leave that I didn't feel right leaving them to move. We shouldn't have taken it upon ourselves to move. I stink at asking for help, so I didn't. We should have hired movers.
I remember when my dad came after we were 3 weeks in and still very much living in between the two houses, he took it upon himself to just load and unload as much as he could for a couple days. He did soooo much work. And I remember crying big sobs as I tried to thank him. He took such a load off of my back.
Well, it is now one year later and I almost forget those times when we were back and forth between the two homes. That home, this home and back again.
But you know, we did it. Those feelings are a distant memory.
But I want to think of them again because, you know, there's a lesson in there. It seemed like the bottom of the bottom in the moment. But I was on the cusp of something so much bigger. I am living my dream now. Yes, the transition could have been smother, but that was just temporary
(Last year up, this year down)
Monday greetings from Holland , RW & SK
Oh your memories are similar to ones I have of moving while pregnant and a complete life change that was 35 years ago and my Dad was such an important time for me as well. You know look at your children you did and continue to do a wonderful job and someday you will hear the words from those lovely faces `Thanks Mom I know how hard it was and I love you. I know this because my girls did and do. LOVE this honest post and I am sure we are not the only women who can relate to it. What`s that saying " I am pretty sure Mom's still cry it seems to be a big part of motherhood:) You done good"HUGS BReplyDelete
You are so right about that. One thing I've learned through having a child on the autism spectrum, is that when we go through a really tough time, I know he is about to have a major breakthrough with something. I call them "spiritual growthspurts", and I'm grateful for every one.ReplyDelete
So glad you made it through. I'll bet your faith will be restored with each challenge you survive.
Ditto. I did the same thing. two houses a 7 day old baby and four others underfoot. That was so long ago, I have totally forgotten. Like birth pains, they become a distant memory. Love your pictures.ReplyDelete
You did a wonderful job, Jackie, I admire you so much. I know that I wouldnt' have been able to hold it together nearly as well as you have and did. I love the photos, and I assure you the kiddos don't remember how rough you percieved that time to be, they just will remember their new home and how much their mama loves them :)ReplyDelete
Sweet memories and babies... working and being a mom is very hard... I remember so well being torn between two responsibilities...ReplyDelete
Your dad was awesome to help so much. You made it. Here you are a year later and nicely settled and comfy in your dream house.ReplyDelete
So true but so unbelievably hard to remember in the moment. :) Good for you for taking a life lesson from it. So nice to have family who are supportive and helpful. We have another thing in common - I'm not good at asking for help either. :) Happy Monday!ReplyDelete
Your house is beautiful and definitely worth the effort it took to get there!ReplyDelete
Oh those challenging times... in the moment they feel like they'll last forever and then once past them they are a distant memory.ReplyDelete
I love your home and you're living the dream now... it took a bit of effort but well worth it.
I agree, things always do work out, but it might not be smooth sailing during the transition! You had so much on your plate at the time and it's totally understandable that you'd be overwhelmed. I'm glad you are past the transition phase and living your dream :)ReplyDelete