Let me tell you one thing...I do not feel underwhelmed. This holiday season, I'm struggling to not feel overwhelmed. It's an hour to hour battle between totally freaking out and pacing through this crazy time of year with grace.
It's my fault, I know it is. I put the pressure on myself. This time of year is always much more busy than the rest of the year, for all of us, not just me. Baking to do. Gifts to make. Halls to deck. Trees to stage. Greenery to be cut. Traditions to continue. People to visit. Cards to mail. Memories to make. All the stuff I love.
But we're still unpacking. This old farmhouse hasn't had a workout of many living the roof in a looong time. In fact, it was one year ago that the sweet woman who lived here passed away. It's been over a year since these walls have had any activity. And we apparently have stressed important things...such as water...to the max. Yes, on top of unpacking and trying to update a little, we've had numerous unexpecteds. Well, not that we really didn't expect to have projects....just not all at once. And during the Christmas season.
So, I'm telling you this... If you usually get a plate of delicious holiday goodness from me, you won't get it before Christmas. If you enjoy holiday mail from me, it will be late. If I was going to make you a gift, it will be even later. If you had a baby or got married, I will still make you something...hopefully before your child graduates high school. If I owe you a thank you card, I haven't forgotten. I'm trying, I really am, but I can't do it all.
But, what I can and will do is slow down enough for snuggles, books and together time. I may feel frenzied, but it's my job as their mama to keep even for them. I need to remind myself of that. What matters most is not that my Christmas platters are perfect or my cards make it there before the holiday. Homemade gifts are (hopefully) just as special after the holidays as they would be before. No one is going to remember the Christmas when I didn't have it together.
But, my kids will remember that their mama read "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" seven times in one day. They'll remember we stacked the tallest tower before the cat knocked it down. They'll remember I ate dinner with them every night. They'll remember squealing when we played chase with the dog. They'll remember their mama let them bake bread with her. They'll remember playing 'duck duck goose' in the kitchen. They'll remember I snuggled them and held them close. They'll remember if I'm that mama who puts them first. And they'll remember I'm the mama who takes their picture entirely too much.
So that's what I'm doing...the stuff that matters. And I hope you'll forgive me for not being my usual 'me' during the holidays. Time is too precious to waste fretting over what's to do, I'm going to enjoy the here and now. And I hope you'll do the same.