Roots and Wings.

It's hard to believe this son of mine is going to be 3 1/2 next week.  Half birthdays are something special around these parts.  Feeling a bit nostalgic, I went through some past pictures of us.  From early on, he found his comfort being attached to his mama.  No matter what overwhelming sensory experience was happening, as long as he was attached to me, he was balanced and calm. 

From early on...

And as he grew...

He grew, attached to me physically and emotionally. 

Through the seasons and the milestones.

And now?  His comfortable space is still me.  Sometimes he still "needs" me, so he says. If he's having a hard day, he still wants to be a "roo" (kangaroo in my pouch). 3 1/2 is definitely not too big to be a roo.

You know, I'm happy to be his safe zone. I'm where he feels grounded, centered and happy. Yes, he's quite heavy now, but it doesn't bother me.  I like having him there. If he's having a rough day, popping him on my back for a half hour changes things immensely. Even if he's not in his "roo pouch", he's just about always in the same room as me. He hardly lets me out of his sight and he still sometimes cries when I go to work.

Just the other day, something big happened.  It might not seem big to everyone else, but it was big to us.

Adrian announced, "Mama, I'm going to go take a walk." I just so happened to have my camera handy.

I could tell by his face that he meant by himself. Which doesn't happen....going on adventures without his mama.

I replied "Okay, have fun!"

He stood there for a second, not really knowing what to do.
But then he turned, and took off. Taking big strides.
As he kept going, every few steps, he'd turn around and wave at me. I'd smile and wave back.
He must have gotten his confidence up, as he turned around to go the other way.
And he walked, walked and walked, out of my sight.  Which has never happened before.  He just kept going.
And finally appeared at the other side of the barn.  Happy, yet very serious.  "Mama, I got some exercise. I it was good exercise. I went on a walk by myself and fell once, but got up by myself and kept getting some more exercise. It was a nice walk, mama."

Oh goodness, how he radiated with pride! He couldn't wait to tell others about his adventure.  I must say, I was beaming with pride. tpp.  He chose to walk out to the wide open by himself.  He couldn't always see me on that adventure, but he kept going with confidence.

It makes me think of the other adventures he's bound to have.  His roots will forever will be planted with me, yes. And he knows that.  But watching him just beginning to grow wings, setting out on his own, exploring uncharted territory-well that's just so exciting to watch.  Particularly since he can't wait to get home to tell me about it.

Grow wings, little one. It's okay. Really it is.  Just always come back to where you're rooted.  I'll want to hear all about it.


  1. How wonderful to witness him exploring his independence. It's obvious he feels confident because he knows you believe in him. Lovely post, Jackie.

  2. This post is a metaphor for life. So happy Adrian will always know he has a touch stone in you. xoxo

  3. Happy Birthday little man that is a big step. Hug B

  4. Awww! I am almost tearing up just reading this. He really is starting to get his wings. It is so sweet that he still likes to be a "roo" every once in a while. Such a heartwarming post :)

  5. sweetest post ever. How proud you must be. :)



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