Resolutions. I totally make them. However, it's not the New Year that gets me making resolutions. It's not even turning the big 3-5 that brings on the resolutions either. It's an anyday/everyday thing, this making resolutions business. I'm always working on doing a little better than yesterday and learning a little more. Once I feel I've got a little room in my brain for one more resolution, off I go.
My previous resolutions in the past year were to become better at embroidery, improve the soil quality in the garden, figure out a good bbq sauce recipe for canning, use a broody hen to hatch chicks, figure out hand milking, make cheese/butter and create a homemakers group. I've totally made progress in all of these areas! Not perfection, but progress.
Onto the next resolution. I'll continue the others, but I'm adding.
I'll first share my weakness. Our house is never up to my standards in clutter or in cleanliness. Yes, I have kids. Yes, I have a big house. Yes, I work outside the home too. I'm not balancing it all well. I'm just not measuring up to my own standards in this area.
When we moved to this home, I saw such potential for it to be a gathering place. I want a home open to all. I want folks over for dinner, meetings to be held, playdates to be had. I want this house to be more than just our house, but a place for our friends.
I've hosted a number of events here and had a lot of out of town company. Through it all, I'm always working myself up trying to get things "just so".
I had a realization the last couple of weeks. Well, two actually. I realized that no one ever has said anything about the canning lids on the counter, the cob webs in the corners, the dust bunnies under the table. Because they are just trying to be nice? Likely not. Likely they don't care. Because they didn't come to see my housekeeping skills. They come to see us. I also realized that it is me standing in my own way. I want to have a gathering house. But, if I get so wrapped up in the physical appearance of our home, I miss out on the PEOPLE. People who never even notice the meticulous details I cannot ignore. It's not worth the stress I cause myself.
So my resolution is to change. Instead of saying in my head "I'd invite if xyz was finished, but I just cannot until we finish", I am instead saying "Just come". Come to our home, we welcome you with open arms. Come learn, play, grow, eat and have fun with us. I know you don't even notice my imperfections, but I absolutely do, and I will choose to ignore them so we can have fun together at our home.
I'm so excited to say that between my husband, my kids and me, we've had 21 people over to our house since Tuesday. And we'll have a big crew next weekend, it's already planned. Our home wasn't perfectly tidy, dusted or mopped. But...it's warm by the fire. We have toys. We always have food. We have a comfortable place to sit and would love good conversation. So just come.
My new resolution: I'm going to try my best to have a tidy guest welcoming area, but I'm not going to obsess over everything being just so. I will have cookies. I will have a smile. I will turn off that voice in my head that says "You can't" and I'm going to replace it with "You can". And I can, I'm sure I can. I can stop my focus of having a home 'just so' for the sake of sharing this space with friends.
And so I say, Welcome.